Support and Freedom

The hardest part of raising a child is teaching them to ride bicycles. A shaky child on a bicycle for the first time needs both support and freedom. The realization that this is what the child will always need can hit hard. ~Sloan Wilson

Though we didn't teach anyone to ride a bike this weekend, I did have this lesson hit me several times.

Our neighbors have a dog and a trampoline. When they are out of town, they ask my boys to come and jump on the trampoline to keep the dog company in their yard. Trust me, you don't have to ask them twice! This weekend was one of those times. I was in the kitchen cleaning and heard Big Brother exclaim, "Mommy! I just did a flip!"

So, here was my chance to celebrate with him... but, what did I do? I squashed it. I immediately said, "Oh honey- I don't really think that's a good idea. I don't think you're old enough to be doing flips." And immediately, his joy was squashed. I realized what I had done, so I tried to fix it, but truly, I had already failed. I had failed to celebrate his success and squashed his moment. Then, he told Daddy about his flip and Daddy replied, "Wow, that's awesome Buddy. Let me see!"

Throughout the weekend Daddy let the boys have a lot of "treats" Mommy doesn't let them have (like Mountain Dew!). So, an ongoing joke was "It's a good thing you have Daddy in your life!" But it's not a joke at all. Our kids are so blessed to have us both in their lives. We both fail and we both succeed. We see life through different experiences and enrich their lives in different ways. I was grateful that Big Brother had his Dad's encouragement, when his Mom had reacted in fear and not in joy.

It was a good lesson in finding that balance between giving them "roots and wings" or "support and freedom". 

Later in the weekend we had a last minute drive to the mountains to hike. Along the way, we saw a sign for horseback trail rides. We made a u-turn, asked a few questions and were in the saddle within the hour. Little Brother rode with a guide, while Big Brother rode all alone. It was another chance at feeling independent and grown up. This time I was joyful for him!

It is truly a difficult lesson for me to learn. My natural tendency is to hold him back, to react in fear, to try to keep him protected and safe. But, I know it's not what is best for him and that is why I continue to try!

And by the way- he can do a flip!

First we stopped at Boulder Falls and the boys saw their first waterfall. We were on our way to hike to some lake and saw this sign and turned around. We never made it to our hiking destination, but we all agreed this turned out better!

Big Brother's horse was named "Spanky". She was a good horse for a first time rider.

I found out taking photos while riding on a horse is not all that easy!

Little Brother rode "Papi" with the guide. He talked her ears off for the entire hour. He's ready for his shot at riding alone like his big brother!

My horse wouldn't stay on the trail. She kept veering off to rub her belly on the trees and bushes and at one point walked right through a group of mountain bikers, forcing them to move out of our way. She had a mind of her own, but the kids thought it was funny that it was happening to me!