Detour- Change in plans...

God's "No's" are not a rejection. They are a redirection... (unknown)

(love this photo I found when I uploaded pics tonight)

Today was a great day and an emotional day for me. I've been trying to process everything that came at me, but it's still kind of swarming around in my head. 

Back in April a child care worked at the gym asked me, "What kind of speech problem does 'little brother' have?" I replied rather shocked, "None- he's not even 3 1/2 yet."

 Pause for a side note- Little Brother isn't really that little.  He's in the 98th percentiles for his growth curve and as tall as some kindergarteners. Therefore, people are always expecting more out of him and are surprised when they find out his age.

The child care worker, albeit rude, explained that her son had a speech issue and the way my little guy spoke reminded her of his issues. She gave me the name of a place that would do free testing. I tucked the name into my memory and vowed not to return to that gym for a while. But, it got me thinking and analyzing my little guy and I couldn't get it out of my head. So, finally in June, I made the call and they set us an appointment for July 18. 

Fast forward to today.

I thoroughly expected them to come to the conclusion that he was on course with all development, except articulation- the way he forms his words. I figured they would give me some pointers on how to help him at home and we'd be on our way. 

I was right and I was wrong.

He tested at age level for everything except articulation. They asked us back for more intensive testing (in September) and have suggested he will probably qualify for an IEP and a specialized preschool. 

This is why it was great, yet emotional day for me. 

The great part is that he's going to get the help he needs and we're getting it early. The emotional part is more complicated. 

First, (the trivial thoughts) I'm a very organized, planned out person. I have had it set since January where he'd be in preschool, which days, and how our schedule will look this coming school year. Now, he's going to start in one preschool, do further testing and possibly switch within a couple of weeks. There is no guarantee that the new preschool location and times will work out with when Big Brother goes to school. That has me in a tizzy- though I'm trying to give it over to God and trust Him to work out the details.

Second, there's a part of me that's overwhelmed by this special need I am suddenly aware of. I joked about my list of "jobs" as a mom in an earlier post, but truly this adds a new dimension to my job as his mom. I know it's a small problem compared to what so many families deal with, but as any mother, you want your kids to have the best chances in life. Now, it's my job to help him overcome this, I have no background with speech development and I'm a bit overwhelmed with this new role.

One last quote that's been settling in my mind today...

Perhaps strength doesn't reside in having never been broken, but in the courage required to grow in the broken places. (-unknown)

Being a mom isn't easy. I don't always know what to do and how to fix things for my kids. But, I know that God loves my kids even more than I could imagine and for that I am grateful and full of hope that He'll mold me and teach me how to be exactly what my little guy needs to overcome this obstacle and the many others that come his way.

Update: After writing this last night, I headed up to bed and couldn't sleep. "Exodus 4:10" was swirling in my head. I had NO idea why and didn't know what that verse even said. I turned on the light, read the verse and was amazed. Some may call it a coincidence, but I know it was God.  I am amazed in the ways He works.

Exodus 4:10-11

¹⁰ Moses said to the LORD, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”
 ¹¹ The LORD said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the LORD? ¹² Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”